A metal weighing scale standing on a kitchen counter, photographed in black and white
Rates for 2027 · fixed until 31 December

What a date costs

Everything is published, including the eleven jobs I turn down on sight. Nineteen Saturdays are open, four are held, and the first free one is 6 March.

The travelling scale — Class III, certified 14 Jan 2026, sticker good to 2028. It goes in the van before anything else does.

The board

Prices are per appearance, before travel. They are hand-set once a year and they do not move for a bigger room.

AcceptedCounty or state fair · twenty minutes on stage · seated attempt
$1,450
AcceptedHouse challenge attempt · filmed by the venue · scale in the room
$1,200
AcceptedRestaurant opening · two hours · photographs and a signed board
$900
AcceptedWeekday lunchtime attempt · anything under 4 lb
$750
AcceptedCharity · six a year · booked by 28 February · travel only
$0
DeclinedPrivate party under forty people, no stage, no scale
—
Travel 62¢ a mile over the first 60 · hotel over 18040% at booking, balance on the night, cash or transferCancel inside 14 days and the deposit stays here
What the fee buys

One attempt, one person, and a van that arrives when it said it would. I do not bring a crew, a banner or a hype man. What I bring is a scale, a stopwatch, a change of shirt and a form for the house to sign at the end.

House requirements
14 daysNotice for anything over 7 lb
2 h 40On site: arrive, weigh, attempt, sign, go
19Saturdays open in 2027
4 daysAverage reply, enquiry to answer
$2mPublic liability, certificate on request
Declined

Eleven things I will not do

Not negotiable, not for more money, and the reasons are mostly dull rather than principled.

  1. Children's parties, of any size.
  2. Anything over 7 lb with less than ten days' notice.
  3. Dairy-only challenges. Adrian is the standing exception and it has beaten me twice.
  4. Chilli and hot-sauce endurance. I am genuinely poor at it.
  5. Any attempt with no scale in the room.
  6. Any attempt where the limit is decided on the night.
  1. Head to head against somebody pulled out of the audience.
  2. Anything billed as a world record. These are house records.
  3. Filming without a second camera held on the clock.
  4. Two attempts inside one weekend.
  5. Sundays. The van is being cleaned.

Of 214 enquiries in 2026, 61 fell at one of these eleven and 18 became dates. The rest were answered and went quiet, which is fine.

Hold a date

OfficeTue–Fri, 10:00–16:00 Eastern, Toledo, Ohio
Telephone
+1 419 555 0188
PostPO Box 1172, Toledo OH 43604 — for contracts only

Send the build sheet with the enquiry if you have one. A photograph of the dish beside a ruler is better than a description of it.

A woman in an apron standing with her arms folded in a dining roomDana Okorie, who runs the diary. She answers the phone; I do not.

Before you write

Can you do a Saturday in July?

Two are left. July and August go first because of the fairs, and they are usually gone by the end of February. If the date matters more than the dish, say so in the first line.

Will you lose on purpose?

No, and the question comes up more than you would expect. A house that wants its challenge to look unbeatable should book somebody else, and a house that wants it beaten should make it beatable.

Do you pay for the food?

If I lose, yes, at your menu price, on the night. If I win, the house usually waives it and I do not ask. Either way it is not folded into the fee and never has been.

Can we sell tickets to it?

Yes. Tell me the number of seats so I know what the room sounds like, and keep the front two rows clear of the scale. Eleven houses have done it and nobody has asked for a refund.

What if the dish is not ready on time?

I wait forty minutes. After that the attempt is off and the fee stands, because the fast started thirty-six hours earlier and it cannot be started again on the Sunday.